Saturday, October 9, 2010

Thoughts on conflict

Thoughts on conflict:

I’ve always been a high conflict person.  Always.  Let’s face it, someone with this much PERSONALITY is bound to rub someone the wrong way.  I generally say what’s on my mind the second it crosses my mind, which I’ve come to find doesn’t always win friends and influence people…surprisingly.  I joke with my boyfriend (you’ll meet him in the next post) that he’s fallen for a girl who is non-stop TMI, a walking exposé if you will.  So…I’m learning what a filter is…and how to use one…and when to use one…but there is still a learning curve, you see.

That being said, I like conflict.  No, I don’t like hurting people, and I certainly don’t like being hurt.  But all conflict (assuming it is non-violent, and non-abusive) can, long run, have really good results.  Through conflict we learn what our issues are.  Through conflict we learn what is absolutely not acceptable for how we treat others.  Through conflict we learn that we need God…that only He will ever love us perfectly, that only through His love can we learn to love others the way we need to.  Not just the way that we need to because He told us to.  The way we need to because if we don’t, than we will never stand a chance of receiving that love from others.  And without love, life is meaningless…empty…hopeless.  We fundamentally NEED to love others to survive.  After air, water, and food, it is our greatest needs as humans.  And only God can do it perfectly.  But we need to get a little somthun, somthun from each other too.  Or if you’re like me, you need a LOT OF SOMETHING to keep you going throughout the day.  My love tank depletes embarrassingly fast.  But that’s OK.  That’s how God made me.  And he made me that way so that at the end of the fight, I would turn to Him, receive HIS perfect love, and get back in the ring for another round.  Because what’s way more painful than being criticized is being pushed away.  Rejected.  Refused.  Shut out.  God, may I never do that to anyone.  All the times you’ve chastised me with your love, you’ve never, ever stopped caring.  You’ve never told me, “I’ve had enough of you, your sin, your pride, your know-it-all attitude, and I’M DONE!” And you never will.  A old African proverb I heard yesterday states that those who keep their arms crossed will not receive a blessing.  May I never have my arms crossed towards anyone.  That’s not the posture of LOVE.  That’s not the posture of the Cross…


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