Thursday, November 4, 2010


Few things in life are more painful than rejection.  Let's face it.  We're all scared of it.  We all have defense mechanisms in place to either avoid it :keeping people at bay, being super nice and not ever saying anything someone doesn't want to hear, not trying out new things, sticking with the same people, being funny all the time, drinking, getting into one romantic relationship after the next, quitting, trying too hard/giving too much time to something so that our relationships end up suffering, telling ourselves on the front end why try since we probably don't stand a chance, hiding behind other issues or weaknesses.  And the reality is, when we come face to face with rejection it threatens to destroy us.  The message is, "you are insufficient, less than, just not smart, pretty, nice, considerate, punctual, talented...enough.  You don't add up.  And essentially, we in our confusion interpret that as, you're worthless.  And we allow ourselves to believe it.  And so we build more walls.  Walls so people, God, can't get close.  Walls so they/He won't ever figure out the "truth" that we are not worth keeping around, not worth spending time with, not worth knowing, or even existing.  With every blow to our ego, we die a little more, but keep the same "I'm OK" smile on.  Or maybe we don't.  Maybe we stop smiling.

The solution?  The cross.  Turning to a God who loves us enough to die.  Loves us enough to let us kill Him rather than withdraw.  Loves us enough to put up with all our defense mechanisms and pride, see through them, and call us to something higher.  We are all going to face rejection.  Sometimes from the people who mean the most to us.  We are so fallen, and so sinful that even to those we claim to love the most we hurt...let down...tear down...alienate.  Sometimes it's family.  Sometimes it's a friend of 8 years.  I've experienced both.  It sucks.  There aren't really words to communicate the pain of having a mother tell you that she doesn't want you to come home and quite frankly doesn't like you.  Or a dad who says that you ruined his life and there is no point trying to have a relationship.  Or a friend that you thought would be your maid of honor who tells you she doesn't ever want to talk to you again.  But there is One who will never stop loving...perfectly.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the resent nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

In the midst of the biggest suffering, the hardest hit, He is there.  Whether it is a job loss, the unemployment that follows, the demise of a friendship that you thought would be around forever, a slow month or even year in sales (aka all day rejection for day after day), financial difficulties that make you think you can't even take care of yourself, or having the love of your life inexplicably break up what you thought would last forever...He is there.  He will love you in the most vulnerable places if you let Him.  Don't ignore the pain.  Face it.  Jesus did (Matthew 26:37-39Luke 22:44).  But do it in the spiritual arms of One who knows you inside and out (Psalm 139), and One who can do something about it.  He is able to heal, able to help you change the things you hate the most about yourself.  He is able to set you free.  But it takes time.  The pain doesn't go away overnight.  It takes perseverance.  But it is worth it.  He loves us...and He knows everything we are trying to hide.

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