A Lament

Why God?  Why do days like this even exist?  Why the flu, why being sick a whole other week, 4 out of 12 now?  Why does everyone who works for the city have to be rude, hardened, and totally unconcerned with anyone's lives they are ruining?  Why does it cost $400 AT CHRISTMAS to get your car towed?  Why during the worst cramps of my life? 

You told me to come to you, and I am.  I'm here.  Waiting.  I've said my bit.  There's so much more, but for now it can wait.  All I know is that for now you can take it.  You hear me.  You're not scared...you say You love me.  I'm not too opinionated, too blunt, too inconsiderate, too much of a mess, too dysfunctional for you.  So I'll turn to you.  I'll keep turning to you.  One day maybe it will all make sense.  One day maybe I'll see that You did use me for something. 

Beauty From PainThe lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1gAyqoGVow